VikBZ is a Viking company:

The web comic talks about this company, but what does the VikBZ do? who works there? and who runs it?!

Photo of the VikBZ

VikBZ is a company that offers services:

Thanks to a long and well matured experience with one's own legion of viking warriors (guided by the leader of their department Kogamn) VikBZ is able to sell typical Viking traditional traits such as raiding, looting and much more.

You want to raid your chemistry teacher's or your mother-in-law's house or carbonize your neighbor's ? No problem, VikBZ is at your service.

Not only services but also... secret service:

Infact it's important for a military unit to have an intelligence squad: scouts and spies. This department is lead and administrated by Hungar , who is in charge of the entire technical area. You need to spy on your dog, who always sleeps on your sofa and denys it... call VikBZ! You want to discover who leaves the toilet seat up... call VikBZ! You desperately need to copy your classmate's test answers... well, in this case just lean over a little bit more.

But most importantly a productive company:

It's not always possible to find villages to loot, pillage and plunger, hard to believe, isn't it... but that's the way things go. But thanks to the engineering department, lead by Hakamn , VikBZ offers a vast choice of mechanical devices, beginning with some of the more common ones such as catapults and siege towers, and to finish off, one of the most extravagant contraptions ever built: flying carpets . Not to forget an important and notable expansion into the food industry with a full on production of cakes.

For several years in the business:

The president Iskur is the company founder's son and, like most in this situation, loses immediately interest in the company and it's products and he converts it into an obsessive need for money, control and power. To fulfill these necessities he expands and gives more power (usually hiring incompetent personnel) to the departments that can help them flourish and reducing or degrading the departments that are the real heart and soul of the company.

Therefore the selection of new managers for the management department usually means choosing, keeping in mind his aim, those whom he considers qualified: for example family members, lovers, friends...

Management and sales department:

Even though the vikings were mainly navigators and merchants, before the arrival of the managers, departments dedicated to buying and selling did not exist. It meant that on every boat there simply was a number of vikings who were capable of both selling and navigating.

But with the arrival of the managers there was always a reason for the expansion of these departments. Historians have elaborated a complex theory to explain this epic change (click here if you want to examine in depth this boring theory).

A typical manager doesn't know what he sells, he doesn't understand its beauty nor its utility and he doesn't care to sell a quality product. The only thing that matters to him is how to earn as much money as possible and the various ways in which this can be achieved: increasing the price of the product, reducing the quality, under paying the suppliers or finding what ever excuse not to pay them, and last but not least... reducing the costs of the making of the product by relocating or firing qualified personnel.

Keeping this in mind, history demonstrates how these so called guidelines turned into an endless series of attempts to cheat the government, the insurance company, other companies, workers....

To correct the situation the government did the only thing it knew how to (in the past because now it's toootally different) it created new laws and like usual, in their typically short sighted and unorganized way.
The result was that, after a few decades from the birth of the managers, the number of new laws created to prevent the cunning from being cunning and the stupid from being stupid (or at least not to hurt themselves) started to grow precipitously and with them the amount of paper work. So if before the coming of the managers any Viking who wanted to sell a sword had only to go to the local market, establish a price, pocket the money and return home... after the coming of the managers, things started to get a little complicated.

A piece taken from a translation of an ancient scroll dating around 1100 A.D.

The following information is a great historical discovery, it is believed to be a revelation made by a powerful wizard-druid during a cocktail party, written down on a napkin and later on a scroll by a scribe, who happened to be in the same inn.

"Now let me explain to you how to sell a sword... first of all you have to be registered at the Viking's chamber of commerce, something which is impossible to do on your own even if this office should be specialized in "making things simple and clear". You better head to a referral agency, with a wallet full of money and register for a VAT. Fill out countless pages of documents, declare your true intentions and do all this with a non updated (since the copper age) codification. Immediately afterwards you must open a bank account and link it up to your VAT. Then proceed by registering an e-mail address because the government has different ways of communication, which maybe: via e-mail, certified mail, pigeons or word of mouth... and be careful not to miss it because the result will be a prison cell without a window. And this is only the beginning: to sell a sword you need a permit to sell in the town market, a permit to occupy public ground, a permit to use the town's electricity (even if it hasn't been invented yet), a permit to sell weapons, a ISO-VIK2145 certificate to sell weapons to individuals and another ISO-3285 VIK certificate to sell weapons to companies. Not only, you need a certificate that guarantees that the weapons have undergone a quality control procedure and once a year must be brought to a government selected laboratory for testing, thanks to the law give-money-to-companies-that-do-testing. You must then issue four different types of insurance policies to cover possible damages caused to: friends, enemies, yourself and to things, otherwise you will be stoned. Now unless you are able to teleport your sword directly to the market, you will need a mean of transportation. This vehicle must have reinforced tires, glass and lorry. On the inside it must have a anti-burglary safe incorporated, conforming to regulation standards VIK354 of 34/3 rev.9.1. Finally you must keep a documented report of all your moves with an authorized permission to carry weapons which must be submitted regularly to the prefecture's office during the following hours and days: from 10.00 am to 10.15 am every first Wednesday of the month.

Naturally the above has to do only with the legal aspect, but there are also tax obligations: first of all you have to prepare a delivery note, then when you have sold your product you have to give the buyer a receipt and an invoice to the company, and don't forget to be precise otherwise they'll put you to death. Each invoice must be recorded in a complex accounting system in which three registers have to be filled out and if you are in the simplified version, four registers. Obviously it's impossible to do it on your own, so you will need an accountant or an accountancy agency for two reasons: one, you have to be constantly updated with their new and perverse regulations that only they understand. Two: only they are authorized to do the financial accounting of the fabrication of any article. And after spilling out all your savings, if there is a mistake guess who's fault it is... that's right, YOURS!

Then there is a whole chapter dedicated to the money that you must deposit in a government retirement project and hope and pray that when you are old they don't say "oh I'm sorry we made a few risky investment and your money, well... it's gone".

After all this you'll probably think... OK it's a complicated system but hey at least the swords won't end up in the wrong hands and with all those controls we'll have a safe and certified product and all taxes will be paid. This thought, which is divided in three assertions, contains three errors. History clearly demonstrates that organized crime sells weapons to everyone including children without any problems, all those certificates related to product control are just another way of giving the blame to someone else if something goes wrong and certainly not to improve the quality, and above all in this group of numerous and tightly knotted laws, people who maneuver a lot of money usually have the best lawyers and accountants in town (also the most dishonest in town, whereas you can afford only the second choice and dishonest), who teach you how to escape controls by using flaws and contradictions in the laws to your advantage. Those who don't have much money evade because the cost of the paper work to sell a sword is unbearable.

This priceless document shows us the reasons that led to the expansion of the sales department in the viking era: people who took care of the paper work and accounting.

Another reason, not less important, was creating a false demand and in a short amount of time, due to this new necessity, the flourishing of departments used for marketing. In fact how can a manager buy a Jacuzzi if you insist that the new DVD-player you bought has to last at least for 10 years... this means that he has to hire unqualified engineers, reduce the quality and quantity of materials, make it impossible to fix and voila... it won't last more than two years.

all of this led to the necessity of expanding enormously the sales offices. But in the VikBZ era these were already well known and consolidated.

Historical theories aside, the management and sales departments in the VikBZ company were not renowned for their efficiency and well functioning. Now this doesn't mean that there weren't any competent employees, but only that they couldn't make any decisions.

The chain of command:

The chain of command puts the president Iskur at the top (even though his role is only representative, he doesn't have a clue of what is happening in the company),
followed by the dark and unscrupulous managing director Uton , after which we have the three heads of department:

  • Ignor who is the general manager of VikBZ and has to do with the sales and tormenting the head of the technical department Hakamn
  • Itriana, the boss's hysterical and neurotic lover, who is the marketing leader, but thanks to the fact that her brain lacks any form of logical reasoning and to her incapability of organization, she is also in-charge of the planification of work schedules.
  • Iskson, the inevitable president's son, who is in charge of the creative department. Nobody knows exactly what they do in there... and one things for sure, they're never in there.

VikBZ treasurer

  • Creative vice-director
  • (president's daughter)
  • Marketing director
  • (the boss'lover)
  • Ignor secretary
  • (easy girl)

VikBZ President


General Manager

  • Employee
  • Sales department
  • Creative director
  • (president's son)

The sales department:

As mentioned above there are a lot of competent workers in these departments and even though they are the reason why the departments go ahead unfortunately they are never gratified or promoted.

Managing directors or diabolical presences?

The only person who is considered an exception to this rule is the very old and unscrupulous managing director Uton, also gifted with magical powers. Even though his old age often gets the better of his calculated lucidity, he tends to be the only one who possess a bit of common sense.

Technical departments:

With the coming of the managers, the ancient Viking warriors were forced to change their military units into money making departments for the company's managers and executives' wallets (without them moving a finger or knowing how to do so).

VikBZ technical departments:

Every technical department of the VikBZ company, like in all other viking companies, derive from a military unit. To be exact there are three departments:

  • the engineer department belongs to Hakamn in charge of the production
  • the raiding department belongs to Kogamn
  • the exploration department (and spies) belongs to Hungar

Hungar, thanks to his artistic skill in bootlicking, also earned the inconvenient title of department supervisor of the entire area.

presidente, amministratori e manager
  • Employee
  • Depredation division
  • Explorers director
  • Department supervisor

Engineers director

  • Employee
  • Explorers division
  • General and leader
  • Depredation director
  • Employee
  • Engineers division

These of course are only administrative roles, in a battle Kogamn always has the final say because he is VikBZ's military general and leader (and therefore he coordinates Hakamn and Hungar in battles).

Raiding and looting department:

In times of peace the VikBZ company, thanks to its small but well trained army of viking warriors, can sell a variety of services typical of the viking era, from looting to raiding. The department is directed by Kogamn.

Engineering department:

It's the only department that deals with production. The engineers are a military branch that have to do with building or dismantling bridges. In times of peace the department is captained by Hakamn he builds for the the VikBZ different types mechanical devices and not only.

Exploration department:

Every garrison has its explorers and spies that follow all the enemy's movements. In times of peace these troops are utilized in various ways like giving support to the other two departments. The only specific tasks this department has is internal and industrial espionage.

Other departments:

Even though there are other people in the company who do not work in the management, sales or technical departments, there are two characters in particular that stand out above all others.

  • The first is a switchboard operator a little naive and gossipy but great company Tphon.
  • The second is Slivius, he's not exactly an employee but an external consultant. He often collaborates, for long periods of time, as a designer and fashion expert in the realization of useless projects. Despite the fact that the title may sound pretentious Slivius is like most external consultants: pretty useless but highly valued and considered worthy of having his own personal office in the creative department of Iskson (The president's son).
  • Receptionist
  • (good-fellowship and naif)

External consultant and designer